18 Jun 44 Lessons From a Life Well Lived
It was my birthday recently and I shared on a FB live 44 lessons. Here is the transcription (tidied up for you) if you don't have time to listen to the live.
I would love to hear your thoughts about theses lessons, so feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Trust. I've always had a quite a trusting nature. But I've learned to be a little more discerning with who I trust, it is important to not trust blindly, use discernment.
Fear. A lot of my decisions were based on fear, fear of missing out. Now, trust combined with fear, I no longer fear missing out. And now I know, trust wise, I go more into my intuition, trust my body response to people, and I don't just listen to the words. And I also don't act on the need to be polite, or worrying about upsetting someone. Now I'm in a space where I put myself first.
Take Action. An action is tied in with decisions. Now, because I've really learned to trust my inner voice more, and not let fear be a driver towards taking action, I now make decisions based on me and what I desire.
Responsibility. I've always been a big believer in taking responsibility for my actions, even in the most traumatic of times, being able to take personal responsibility for the decisions that I've made. And the actions that I've taken, has allowed me to recover from past experiences that were painful a lot quicker.
Attention. As a child, I always craved attention. I wanted to be on the platform, I wanted to be the lead role in the school play. I always got delegated to narrator though, because I was really good at reading and pronunciation. Attention was always deemed a bad thing.. But now I've embodied Attention, attention is a great thing to have. Don't shy away from attention because when you shy away from attention, you shy away from really shining and sharing your gifts and the planet needs your gifts.
Validation. This is an interesting one, especially for women as we’re taught that we are not allowed to validate ourselves that we're not allowed to go inward and go, ha, good job sparkles. Instead, we are taught that we have to meekly humbly accept external validation. Somebody else has to approve, somebody else has to say good work young one. Now I validate myself.
Self- worth. For so many years, I didn't honour myself, I told myself daily, that I was not worthy. I was not allowed to have a good life, there was something wrong with me, I was a bad person. I wasn't deserving. But when I embraced my spirituality, when I forgave myself and realized, I'm a perfect child of God, there's actually nothing to forgive in the first place.
Respect. I have a lot of respect for myself these days. I know for a fact, I do not always do what people think is right, in their own moral bandwidth. And that's fine. That's their lives, I respect them for living their lives. And I respect myself for the decisions that I make daily, and making the decision and taking the action which I talked about earlier. Giving myself permission to respect who I am, has lifted up the self-worth and has allowed the internal validation to occur naturally.
Can you see how all of these things layer into each other?
Belong. Belonging is something that I work with the ladies especially in Embrace, because I made the decision took the action that I was not going to be driven by need to belong, and stay in places that did not elevate, that did not celebrate me and that did not allow me to shine.
Celebration. That is a big one. There is no fear. Now I talked about fear right at the start the fear of leaving the fear of missing out, that's just your hind brain wanting to keep you small. Let go of the fear shifted into adventure, excitement, fun, whatever it means for you. And go where you are celebrated.
Control. I used to hang on so tightly to things and the tighter you hang on to things, the more they just slip through your fingers. It's learning to let go of control of the things that you can't directly impact. Take control of your own inner work, your own inner guidance, what you want, and need to feel great.
Faith. For some people, faith is religion. For some people, faith is spiritual. For some people, faith is just believing in yourself. For me, faith is also about having a level of faith in yourself that what you're doing is right. Learning to have faith in a higher source or bigger purpose is cool.
Intuition. When you have your self worth and your self respect and you make the decisions, take the actions and take responsibility for your outcomes and surround yourself with the right people. Your intuition has a space to really thrive.
When you get that vibe, that feeling of don't do that, thats the inner voice. Trust your gut. Listen to your intuition, the ego speaks loudest and first. So let that voice speak and then listen for the little whisper. Because the little whisper is what will guide you.
Sexuality. It is an interesting one, it's actually a shadow value that I work with the ladies in Embrace. I've had lots of sex, some that's been good, some it's been really bad. Some of it not consensual. You can use your sexual energy, to create your higher vision. Harness that ebergy remove the shame, the fear, the guilt, the judgment around it, love who you want to love, and love with your whole heart and your whole body. You have nothing to be ashamed about.
Dancing. It's that movement, it's that ability to get into your body. It's another way to transmute sexual energy, for me dancing is freedom. Find something in your life that allows you to just be in your body, be present in the moment. For some people, it's meditation, whatever it is, give yourself permission to enjoy that.
Trauma. I don't really know very many people who haven't experienced some sort of trauma, I've had a lot of trauma in my own life. And I've put in lots of processes and steps to be able to heal from it, release it, let go and build on myself and be a better person from it.
Give yourself permission to release your trauma. Be aware of the decisions and actions you're taking now and make sure they're not based on the past trauma, look for ways to make better decisions now in the moment to move your future forward. figuring that out and learning how to do that.
Learning. I'm addicted to learning, you've probably seen all the study all the courses, all the things that I do. But you don't have to pay lots of money and go off and do degrees and do all of the things. Learning. Find something that you love something that you're interested, spend some time doing some research on that.
Money. Money is one of those things that I spend a lot of time repelling due to self-worth, self-respect, not feeling that I could have it and not really valuing it as the tool that it actually is. So my lesson is, money is a tool. The energy you bring to it will either attract it to you, or push it away from you. Do the work around money around your beliefs. And how do you manage your money, because the more you welcome in money, the more money shows up.
Rebelliousness. I was punished so much as a teenager for being rebellious for pushing back against authority. But here's the thing, you're not a teenager anymore. Being rebellious, this is not a bad thing as an adult in your business. Use your rebellious energy, step into that and harness it and allow it to open up a world of possibility. Because when we embrace that rebelliousness, you actually can enhance that for your creativity and your innovation because the rules disappear, and new pathways open.
Love. Now, when people talk about values, and you know, all the pretty values, a lot of people put love at the top of the list. But for me a long-time love was something that I absolutely blocked, didn't truly believe in didn't think was for me didn't trust it.
Open yourself to love. No matter how much you've been hurt, because not everyone will hurt you and you create your reality. When you open yourself to love and allow yourself to love yourself, watch the things around you shift and change.
Kindness. Now, sometimes, sometimes people online, think I'm little bit scary and a little bit intimidating. I know right? Who would have thought, the kindness is a big thing. Behind the scenes, I love kindness to fuel me. That kindness is a strength. Kindness isn't a weakness. Allow yourself to soften and be kind because this world wants to make us pretty hard and tough and separate us. Kindness is a gift that you give to others.
Accountability. Find people that if you need it, that you can be accountable to get a coach, get a support, just set reminders in your phone, allow yourself to be accountable. When you embrace accountability for yourself, a funny thing happens. You start to take action, your purpose actually opens up and your life expands. Because if you can start regulating yourself and be accountable to yourself, or get support, to help you move and grow, of course your life's going to change. I said being accountable to myself and my dreams and my vision and a lot change them.
Rejection. Rejection isn't personal rejection is not a direct attack at you, as an individual rejection can be your idea doesn't work for the other person, rejection well maybe you didn't behave in the best way for the other person to want to keep you around. Rejection does not need to be an attack on your character. If you can transmute the energy of rejection into a lesson and into learning, you find that you will have more courage and being more courageous in taking action, because your fear diminishes.
Downtime. This was a really big lesson for me lead and, I'm still learning it. Downtime is vital.
We hear all about the struggle and the hustle and the push in that earn, you gotta work and work smarter, not harder. And if you don't know how to do that, get somebody to help you. In this day and age, I see too many people stressed out on the point of burnout, I'm ready to break down and I can recognize those signs, because that was made five years ago. Not only was I physically exhausted, I was emotionally spent, strained and done. And my mental health was affected. Find ways to have downtime.
Creativity. You have to create space to creativity to flow, right. Take the downtime, give yourself time to dream, going back to the crafts, and the arts and the hobbies and the things from when you were a child and watch the creative juices flow.
Appreciation. Some people think gratitude, some people think appreciation, I find it easy to feel appreciation over gratitude. Take the time to appreciate what you have. If you want to manifest more to create more, if you want to have more, you have to appreciate what you have.
For a long time, I was bitter. And I was jealous because everybody else had what I wanted. And it didn't matter how much I pushed how much hustle and grind was in there, I never seem to be able to get it and that's because I didn't appreciate what I have as a foundation to build on.
Desire and Purpose. They kind of for me, sort of cross over into each other. Desire is a big thing. And desire isn't necessarily a sexual thing. It's that feeling in your body of I want this so much like, this thing calls to me. Honour your desires.
Spirituality. I had a lot of religious trauma. And I had to make my peace with God, and what God actually meant for me and let go of the old issues with God.
But spirituality and looking at 12 spiritual laws, (you can google these) allowed me to remove so much separation, and so much us versus them and just create a huge energetic shift. Embracing spirituality gave me a huge shift.
Religion. Now, people believe what they want to believe and they everyone has a need and a need that is met something that is fulfilled in whatever they choose to believe. I was very angry at the religious version God, very angry. I carried through everything that I chose to live in my life. So heal, whatever trauma you have around religion.
Tolerance. I made a decision, to choose to be tolerant. Previously what I didn't understand I tended to push back against and push away and reject and you know, sometimes vilified. I used to love a good fight on the internet with strangers and people and I used to get really angry. But at that point, I didn't have any way to transmute the anger and turn it into something that was helpful.
It actually made myself sick, it's called compassion fatigue. And I just got angry and helpless. And I had no tolerance and these people didn't believe what I do. I believed in they were wrong.
Zero sum thinking. I'd been raised with the belief, the feeling and seeing around me and experiencing in my young life that if somebody wants, somebody had to lose. Its not the case as there is so much abundance, there is enough out there for everyone.
Win, win, win. It's a win for me. And it's win for everybody else that you're in contact with. So that creates the ripple effect. Because this is the kind of thinking that we definitely need to change the world now.
Support. Allow people to support you. Getting the right support in, it's been absolutely pivotal for me to be able to take the leaps and bounds, especially in the last six months in my life, to get to where I am now.
Surrender. Surrendering to trust, to faith, to your purpose, surrendering control, things that I've talked about, being able to surrender and stop worrying about the how highlight, stop worrying about the how know your y know what it is that you want to do, and let go of control of the details. For people who have experienced a lot of trauma, being able to just relax and let go of your environment is a huge thing. And being able to surrender actually allows your nervous system to have a break, and allows your body to just say support and surrender been huge for me.
Inner child. Inner child work is something that for a long time, I was super, super skeptical about but your inner child, your iinner child and your ego ties in with your beliefs and values, your inner child is seven-year-old self. When you're letting your inner child guide your daily actions, your inner child is guiding you from the belief of a child.
Now if you don't connect in with your inner child and let your inner child know that the inner child is safe, that you know you doing that you have trust, you have faith you have surrendered, you've got the right support, etc, etc. Your inner child actually has the ability to throw a tantrum and hold you back.
Beliefs. Beliefs are formed based on the evidence of past experiences. You are not the sum of your past that's brought you to where you are now. But your past does not need to be your future. I am very, very aware of my beliefs. Are yours supporting you to rise? Or are they pulling you back down and hindering your ability to move forward?
I do a lot of belief work with my clients. And a belief is what we have in the moment.
Values. Now, if you've been around in my world for a little while, you know, Embrace with the shadow values that works with all of the things that we were pressed and told ourselves that we can't be do will have and but those values, those values guide our unconscious decisions, they formulate us they are who we are moving forward.
When you are living and doing work that is connected to values, and supported by positive beliefs, you live a happier life. And I spent way too many years attempting to cram my life into the values and beliefs of what other people for I should have be do. So do yourself a favour, favour checking your values, checking your beliefs, and check in with your life and make sure they're all aligned.
Manifesting. I didn't believe that magic was for me. Now, for my science, logic, brace, logic brain friends, manifesting ties in with science. Now I don't have time to do a big huge study thing now around what manifesting is and what it means and how it works. But have a look at it. We're all sending out a frequency, everything vibrates everything is energy, including us, like a tree like.
If you're sitting down in what they call lower vibrations, of lack anger, regret rage. If you're not processing and working through your grief, a you're going to attract more of that you're not going to feel happy.
You might be saying, I want more abundance in my life. If you're not an energetic match for that, you are not going to create and attract what you truly love so learn about manifesting.
Highest self. When you study quantum physics and quantum universe, there are many different versions of us stacked on each other and different things happening. You get to create what you want. And check in with this high vision of yourself.
Who is your highest and best version of you? What is that person doing? What actions can you take beliefs vibration frequency, what changes can you make quicker to attract in that higher version of yourself to create your dream life.
So check in with your higher self.
Energy. Personal energy, the energy of the universe, the energy of manifestation. Energy is more than just you know what we get when we turn on the switch of the power point. Study energy, if you're not sure where to start message me, and let's talk about it.
Leadership. When you can really step up and step into leadership, it creates a huge shift.
Always for me with leadership, it's always about empowering the people around me to be able to make sense to be able to lead themselves. That was a big lesson for me, because I was always put in leadership positions, but because I hadn't done the work around myself with leading it's only recently I’ve been really able to own that.
If you feel called to lead, start taking the actions, because this country needs people that are willing to stand up and have their voices heard.
Friendship. I've probably in the past been a little too loyal to the wrong people.Work on friendships, putting that effort with your friendships, don't take your friends for granted. We live in a world where connection people are craving connection. It's a conversation that I've had a lot, especially in the last four weeks. So go out calling your PayPal and start fostering deeper friendships.
Vision. Tap into the vision for yourself. I had a vision for myself. You know, I see young as a child, to be a leader to get into politics to make a difference. For various reasons that just got knocked down, pushed aside tonight, whatever.
But the vision is always called me forward to lead. What's your vision for yourself, surround yourself with people that support that vision, take daily actions even it's just teeny, tiny, teeny, tiny little steps, little steps every day to move towards that big picture.
And that's why tapping into your higher self and your inner child and understanding energy all supports this.
Do the work. It's up to you gorgeous!
It's been a huge 44 years, moving into year 45.
I've got big plans.
I feel like all of those quantum levels, everything's dropping and everything starting to connect.
I'm really excited to be starting to support men through my work moving forward.
It starts with a decision and an action. It is that simple. Make the decision take the action.
Do I have all the answers?
No. But I know through my life that if I hadn't have reached out, hadn't gotten support, hadn't have made certain decisions hadn't have taken the actions I wouldn't be here right now.
So here is to another 45 plus years.
Let's live an amazing magic inspired life.
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